I’m trying to track down what you’re telling me.

I’m jumping ahead without being prepared.

Before I can lead, I must learn to be led.

I don’t yet understand your grace for me,

Who I am in it,

How that manifests in me.

I’m not looking for knowledge here,

But a deep understanding in my knower.

Many things I know, you’ve shown me,

But I’m missing pieces that strangle me and make me ineffective.

Your grace on me- what does that even mean?

To cease striving, to abide,

To be centered in thanks,

This is what I’m missing and what I seek.

I need to find your presence apart from doing

Because I am such a fixer and a doer,

And my identity is still entangled in my performance for you.

Father, teach me the unforced rhythms of grace.

I want to get it – I don’t.

I can give it, but I don’t receive it.

I’m always striving – to be brave, to be bold, to step out without fear –

All good, all part of what I see as a call on my life,

But only free people can truly free people,

And I’m not free from my striving – not yet.

I don’t want to ever be convinced that I’m brave.

Teach me to abide inside grace.

Teach me to abide inside grace.

Teach me to abide inside grace.

So please silence the DO IT NOW, WHAT IF THIS, of the enemy.

I hear your call and I’m listening,

But it needs to come from a different space, or it will corrupt and enslave.

Lord, teach me a different kind of brave.

Teach me to abide inside your grace.

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